Should I live in NYC? The Dark Side of the City
I’m here, finally, in Brooklyn, NYC—a dream that’s been years in the making. After countless trips and a total of four months spent testing the waters before moving, I took the plunge. Starting in Manhattan and now calling Bushwick, Brooklyn home, I was convinced this was the place to be to rise as an artist and professional photographer.
But New York City is more than just a backdrop for ambition. It’s a force—an electrifying, chaotic energy that shapes you as much as you try to shape your future here.
The Need to Be Seen
After nearly a year in the city, I’ve observed something fascinating: the unspoken need to be seen. There’s nothing inherently wrong with it—it’s natural. But in a city as loud as New York, it’s easy to slip up and either fade into the shadows or push yourself to be louder than you’re comfortable with.
Living here is like hanging out with a group of extremely loud friends all the time. You either get drowned out or find yourself shouting just to keep up. The city’s vibrant fashion scene is a perfect example. Walk into any Bushwick coffee shop, and it feels like an impromptu fashion show.
As someone with a minimalist wardrobe (16 identical black shirts, to be exact), I often feel like I’m letting down the unspoken expectations of self-expression. Yet, paradoxically, my simplicity sometimes makes me stand out. My hair—luscious and curly, if I may say so—probably helps a bit. Recently, I even shaved my head as a kind of social experiment in self-discipline and self-awareness. Stay tuned for the results.
Fashion in New York is undeniably a form of art—a moving piece of architecture. As architects like to say, “Architecture is the art you interact with.” But with every yang, there’s a yin. The darker side of individualism is the lack of uniformity and community. When everyone is so strikingly unique, they inadvertently isolate themselves.
In a city teeming with people, it’s ironic how many feel lonely. New York’s current can sweep you away, and competing with its volume can cost you a piece of your soul.
Manhattan: The City That Chips Away At Your Soul
Living in Manhattan’s Lower East Side felt like stepping into another world. Specifically, I was in a part of Chinatown near Delancey and Essex. It was unlike anything I’d experienced before, and the people there seemed to fall into three distinct groups:
The Chinese Locals: Many of them speak dialects so niche that even Mandarin speakers struggle to understand. They’ve created a self-sufficient ecosystem, untouched by the city’s broader cultural waves.
The Young Main Characters: Usually White twenty-somethings living paycheck-to-paycheck in rent-stabilized apartments. They party relentlessly, embodying the “main character” energy that brought them to the city.
The Night Victims: The city’s casualties. People who couldn’t keep up with its demands and have been broken by it. They haunt the nights, surviving off the scraps left by the main characters.
I often felt like an outsider, belonging to none of these groups. Manhattan’s energy was intoxicating at first—everything I needed was a short walk away. Fashion shows, events, and after-parties were all just minutes from my doorstep. But with access to everything, everything also had access to me.
I started craving the sound of birds and the sight of trees, which I’d only get when visiting friends in Bed-Stuy. Manhattan seemed to block the natural flow of life, as if its towering buildings disrupted something intangible—perhaps even quantum. The city’s “poison arrows,” as Feng Shui calls them, seemed to drain me.
Now in Bushwick, I feel like I’m living in a completely different country. Brooklyn has a culture all its own, quieter but no less vibrant. I’ve only scratched the surface of what this borough has to offer, and I’ll explore it more deeply in future posts.
Advice for Aspiring New Yorkers
If you’re considering a move to the city, my biggest advice is to sublease an apartment for a month in the neighborhood you’re eyeing. Test the waters before diving in.
I still love New York. It’s a city with endless opportunities and lessons. But it’s not for everyone, and it might not be the right time for me to stay here. Like the song Empire State of Mind, hearing it occasionally is exhilarating. Hearing it every day? That might drive me crazy.