Running in place: Reflections on Achievement and the Art of Moving Forward

If you’ve ever watched clouds drift across the sky, you may know the feeling: they seem stationary at a glance, but look away for a moment, and suddenly, they’ve changed shape, shifted across the horizon. Life has felt a lot like that for me over the past two and a half years. In the day-to-day grind, it’s hard to notice the subtle shifts, but when I look back, it’s as if my world has transformed.

During this time, I’ve managed to accomplish things I once considered out of reach—collaborating with Sony and reaching milestones I never thought possible. Each achievement, like an anchor on my journey, has kept me moving forward. Yet, with each success, I find myself facing an odd emptiness, a fleeting thrill that seems to fade as quickly as it arrives.

Working with Sony was a dream, something I chased for years. At the time, it felt like an elusive carrot, a distant reward that I never believed I’d actually grab. But once I did, the high of the moment quickly faded, replaced by a familiar, creeping emptiness. I found myself facing a strange paradox: the higher the achievement, the more persistent the void. In some ways, it’s almost easier to be chasing a goal than to actually reach it, because chasing brings hope—the hope that this next goal, this next summit, will bring fulfillment, or that I’ll finally find a version of myself that feels “complete.”

But whether it’s a job at NASA or a collaboration with Sony, I’m always pulled into the same cycle: chasing the next summit, the next impossible goal, hoping that this time will be different. I’ve come to see that I’ve set these goals for myself as a way to stay hopeful, to convince myself that the summit is within reach, and that reaching it will somehow make things feel “right.” It’s a cycle of optimism that, paradoxically, comes crashing down the moment I achieve what I set out to do.

Perhaps this is the human condition, or maybe it’s the artist’s dilemma—forever chasing something elusive, forever hoping that each new achievement will hold the answers we’re searching for. Yet here I am, reminded that the feelings inside don’t change, even when the external markers of success are reached. It’s an endless journey, one where each achievement brings temporary joy, followed by the unsettling reality that there’s always something more to chase.

And so, in embracing this paradox, I can only hope that along the way, I’m creating a positive impact, that somehow, the things I accomplish aren’t just for me, but that they resonate with others in some small, meaningful way. Maybe that’s the purpose—to acknowledge that even on this selfish journey of endless climbing and achieving, there’s value in the trail we leave behind, in the ways we may inspire or uplift others.

So, here I am, embracing the chase, finding peace in the uncertainty, and choosing to view each step as a chance to make a difference. Maybe then, it won’t feel as hollow to reach “greatness”—because it will have been a shared journey, a legacy left for someone else to carry forward. It’s an honor to be part of something bigger: the human never-ending will to create.